Sunday, January 21, 2018

One Year In

I don't have a lot of time to watch the boob tube. I keep too busy on the ranch clearing brush and chasing coyotes to pay a lot of attention to what’s happening in Washington. To be frank, I’m pretty stoked that my tenure as president has come to an end. Not that I regret my service to the country. I regret very little. No sense in eyeballing the rear view when you should be watching the road ahead. But it’s a tough gig. Eight years later and I was so ready to just kick back and maybe partake in a brewsky or two while watching the sunset with Lolo. But admittedly I’m a creature of habit, so sometimes temptation kicks in and I’ll take a peek at the news, just to satiate the ol’ curiosity. And I gotta say, it’s almost worse than I thought. Now, people already know where I stand on our current Commander-In-Chief. I’ve made several public statements (without naming names) that addressed the need for our leaders to stand up for democracy, promote a sound foreign policy in an increasingly dangerous world and to keep a steady hand on the wheel. And boy, This Guy ain’t doing ****. (Pardon my French.) After my speech at the Spirit of Liberty event in New York last year, some people in the current administration had the temerity (gotta love these computer thesauruses) to infer that my speech had nothing to with Their Guy. (And folks call me an idiot.) Let me set the record straight: just because I didn’t mention Their Guy by name didn’t mean I was generalizing. I was specifically talking about Their Guy. I just have too much class to make it look personal. I was raising the tenor of the conversation. Maybe Their Guy could learn something about class, but maybe I’m setting my hopes a little too high. So here we are, one year into This Guy’s presidency. There is a choice word I would like to offer as an evaluation for what the past 365 days have been like, but Laura keeps looking over my shoulder and she doesn’t appreciate me cussing. So let’s just say this word (eight letters) aptly describes the state of our government under the current president and you’d use that same eight-letter word to describe … oh. I don’t know. (!) Imagine a bunch of cow turds with little hats and canes and bowties dancing and singing on a small stage. I think you all know what I’m getting at. Under my tenure as president, I never had the entire government shut down. This despite a very divided congress and senate. We managed to keep all our ducks in a row. The September 11 attack on America might have taught both sides (at least initially) to get together and find common ground despite our political differences. But This Guy? One year in and already Washington is literally dysfunctional. You can hear the cow turds whooping it up as they do backflips through hoops. And what kind of leadership has This Guy displayed in response? Diddly ****. (Laura is eyeing me suspiciously. Better use the find-and-replace to bleep out these naughty words.) Anyhoo, I’ll be keeping an eye on this mess and offering up a few more observations as things unroll like a poorly constructed Tekkamaki under This Dunderhead. Which reminds me, I should see if Laura wants to order sushi tonight. W