Monday, January 29, 2018

Who is Pupupu?

So Chase is telling me that since I’m writing this weblog—sorry. Blog. Since this is what the kids call, “a thing”, I should promote it on social media. Now, from everything I’ve heard about The Facebook and The Tweeter— “Twitter, sir,” Chase tells me. “The Twitter.” “No ‘the’. Just Twitter.” Now, from everything I’ve heard about The Facebook— “Just Facebook, sir.” “Facebook. Full-stop,” I reply. “Yes, sir.” “All rightee.” Anyhoo, social media’s been getting a pretty bad rap these days. People are addicted to their doohickeys, tapping away non-stop, almost getting run over in the street. Not sure I’m too keen about participating in this stuff. Apparently, presidents and Twitter don’t go all that well together. (So I’m hearing.) But Chase assures me it’s necessary to build an audience. People have to know you’re out there. What’s the point of blogging if no one reads what you have to say? Good point, Chase. As always, you’re one smart chocolate chip biscuit. So Chase acts as my guide while we set up a Twitter account together. “You need a handle,” Chase says. “I doubt I’ll ever get a good handle on this Twitter thing,” I explain. This is where Chase tries to stifle a sigh as he very patiently attempts to get me up to speed. “A Twitter handle is like—” he pauses as he tries to find an analogy my non-techie brain might understand. “—a CB handle.” “Like a nickname.” Chase taps the side of his nose. I think we’re making progress finally. So I choose the same name as my blog for my Twitter handle. Seemed pretty unique, I thought. But much to my chagrin, @mynameisw is taken. So we read some of the alternate suggestions, but they’re all pretty awful. If I wore panties, they’d’ve been in a twist by now. After spit-balling for a bit, we fall on @mynameisw43. As in the forty-third president of the United States. Not as elegant or clean as @mynameisw, but beggars can’t choose what they’re begging for as a choice but to beg. Or something to that effect. Finally my account is up and running and Chase gives me a crash course on tag hashes and shortened Earls. (I think I wrote this stuff down. Somewhere.) But then Chase’s face scrunches up. “I’m curious, sir,” he tells me. “Wonder who took @mynameisw?” My curiosity is, as the Danish say, piqued as well. So he searches for @mynameisw. We read the owner’s name with a heavy dose of skepticism. Pupupu. “Squatter,” Chase mutters. “Well, if you’re gonna pupupu, you’re probably gonna have to squat.” That prompts Chase to shake his head. He explains to me that a squatter is someone who hoards web addresses and other online name properties in the hopes of selling them off at usurious rates. Pupupu apparently took the handle back in 2010 and has not posted tweet one. “That’s how it works out sometimes,” Chase says, resigned. Social media. It really chafes my chinos. If you like this blog, follow me on Twitter at @mynameisw43. (And yes, Chase wrote that sign-off for me. Never misses a beat.) W