Friday, January 19, 2018

What Happened to Chase?

Some folks who are familiar with my weblog have asked me, “Whatever happened to Chase? What’s he doing now? Do you keep in touch?” And not just about Chase. I still get asked about the old gang: Condi, Dick, Col, Donnie, Bob, Ash, Berto. I’ve kept in touch with a few folks over the years. Others I’ve not spoken to since leaving the White House. I presume they’ve moved on. What’re you gonna do? But Chase is like one of those infectious diseases you never seem to get rid of no matter how much ointment you spread. Throughout my presidency, he’s been indispensable. Not just as an assistant, confidant and magician when it comes to computer stuff, but he ain’t afraid to say things to my face I don’t necessarily want to hear. Lolo Sorry. Laura (she’s definitely gonna kill me for publicly using that pet name) finally took a liking to him (following years of just putting up with him) after helping her with one of those fancy internet-connected scales. (I keep saying she looks like a babe, but she won’t listen to me. Women. Am I right, fellas?) Anyhoo, I’ve never been able to get a better fixer than Chase. I wanted to move him to Crawford, but he maintains he wants to remain in the big city. So we do the Skype thing on a pretty regular basis. So here I am, with my new-fangled MacBook Pro (Chase recommended highly). Initially, I’m trying to look good in front of the cam thingee. Now I’m not even bothering to un-muss my hair. I’m looking into the camera and saying, “Chase, mi compadre. ¿Como està? I’m looking to get the weblog goin’ again.” “Blog,” he says. “¿Que?” I ask back. “We don’t call them weblogs anymore.” He sees the confused look on my face. A look I’m told I wear often. Anyhoo, we go back and forth a bit. He’s trying to talk me out of it, but I am persistent. I am nothing if not persistent. Eventually he relents and since it’s been a dog year since I’ve weblogged—sorry again—blogged, he gives me a refresher course along with a few passwords that slipped my mind completely. (Did I mention Chase was indispensable?) So here I am, back blogging, thanks to my old friend Chase. We worked out a deal where he agrees to give me advice along the way. So expect to see his name pop up now and then. I have a sudden craving for some leftover lemon meringue pie Laura left in the fridge, so this is where I’ll call it a night. Catch y’all on the flip side. W